Hola-the night(lifee)

Last night I was out with 2 sweet Au pairs I had met a few days before. They are really sweet and we had a good time. It really is super easy to meet people here in Barcelona. I love that about Barcelona. In Utah it seemed quite hard to meet people, since there is no “meeting” point, where people gather and talk. So anyways. We had a good time.
We drove into the city 10 pm, since the party doesn’t start until late, late, late night! So very cool! We went bought a bottle of champagne and drank it somewhere at a “playground” because I guess drinking publicly on the streets is forbidden. I also learned that it is prohibited to buy Liquor after 10 or 11 pm. I didn’t know that. We went into a “East Indian” supermarket, which most are open 24/7. They guy said:” Hide the bottle under your jacket. I will still sale you!” Haha… very funny
Anyhow, after our warm drinking, we went down Las Ramblas and tried to find a bar in one of the “night scene” streets/areas. One Bar after the other. Really interesting how Barcelona is built. Believe me. Everywhere people. Tons of People. Reminds me a bit of Las Vegas. People where trying to sale beer, they hid the beer under there jackets and as soon as someone walk by they tried to give it to you! Any who, we found the bar, where the girls had met up with some more Au Pairs. Even a boy who was an Au pair as well. There aren’t very many male Au pairs but I guess enough to have met or heard about 2 already! So we were in a bar, which was quite different, not much of my taste, but yeah I guess it was what it was. Rock music, popcorn everywhere on the ground, tables. The bar was stuffed with people. And males everywhere trying to socialize with cute girls like us. Well, spray painted walls, skeletons everywhere. It had a bit of a dirty, very unorganized and chaotic feel. No bueno. Well after a while we finally left. We tried to at least. Because we kept gotten talked to. Annoying. So we finally got going, quickly a late night walk, which ended up not being quick or short. It was one loooooong walk I‘ll tell ya‘. We finally got to a place. It was right by the ocean. A tourist road again, with big hotels lined up at the beach. We still had to walk more. I think we didn’t get there until 1 ½ hours later. So as we finally got there-we were told that we weren’t going to get in for free. Suckyy, because it cost about 20 dollars, that we poor au pairs just didn’t want to spend or have. (with only 50-75 euros the week you can’t do very much, it‘s “pocket“ money) Soo cool, Now we had walked this long of a way to go right back?! No, I don’t think so- I will find a way. In the clubs it’s forbidden to smoke, so people have to come outside to smoke a cancer stick. It was a little section in front of the door, So I quickly asked people if the had gotten stamps. No-nada! So we took our jackets of and did as if we had paid and where outside smoking! Haha-it worked… silly Spaniards! (did I tell you that right on the beach are about 10 clubs all by one another and while walking along the beach(I looooooooove the ocean soo much, the sand everything, muy bien, anyway back to) where so many people sleeping on benches, probably people that where backpacking. Real funny! ) We were inside! Well, to the club, it wasn’t very full. I have done a bunch of partying when I was a teenager in Germany. And for some reason I just don’t like it anymore. The scene just isn’t my thang. See, everywhere guys just trying to talk and dance. How many people tried to pull me in--- quite crazy and uncomfortable. Since I know ya’ gotta just be brutal and not nice - I just send them on their way. But really after leaving the “club” in the early morning hours and coming home by 8 in the morning- I just have to say-last time I did that! (of course I can make the time fun.. But nooo I am so done) I would rather go somewhere and chill, talk with friends. But not partying! No bueno. As I had planned to not drink starting in January-so I could focus on finding me, myself and I. Getting to Know what I like, what I want, what will make my life loveably and liveably wonderful and fulfilling, letting God stand in my life deeper and much more. I decided today that this will be also my last day drinking for a year or longer! I am so happy and feel so blessed to have such insight with my young years! I really am. I pray and thank God for all the struggles, hard times and good ones he brought up on me- because therefore I am so much more tolerable and all this insight ( and more to come). I also don’t want a meet a man on my journey, because this is Only, ONLY, only about me. And I know it won’t be hard to ignore these man (like cockroaches trying to hang all over girls in Barce), because my heart is still with someone else, siempre contigo. But This is my journey to myself. So my “game plan” looks like this.
Be as busy as can bee- go to church, meet fellowships, participate on bible studies
-go to the gym, find activities I want to do, like dancing salsa or some Latin dance, participate in races like a marathon and train. Study Spanish very well and go to school for it, maybe find some other club to join (as my au pair family is very busy always doing clubs, activities and everything -they got mee quite inspired onto that lifestyle!) Learn Spanish cousin cooking!!!! (a total must)
-to see Spain and enjoy it’s beautifulness in every breath and step I make! - I am grateful! I thank God- without him I wouldn‘t be where I am!
(Stay tuned because I have more to tell about my loveable city de Barcelone! Un fantastica ciudad)

Ramblas at night

So many reasons why..

I have been here for about 6 days not even a week. And I am just so in love with Barcelona. And every day I pray to god and say thanks for doing this for me. Thanks for blessing my journey with happiness. Today I met a new Au pair. And we are so much a like. Good times in front of me I see them already. Then when she said: Would you want to go to church with me?! I said… Wooow, Thanks the lord for bringing people like this in my life!
To my beautiful new ciudad la barcelone:
Short and stubby, this is why:
-The Catalan People are friendly, they are open and happy, just like US people.. I love it (Germans are not friendly and open at all)
-the wonderful ocean (don’t need to say much, do I?)
-the mountains
-the hills
-the beautiful architecture, from gothic to contemporary, everywhere
-the treeeeeeeeees, I love and missed me some trees. They are huge here! Nothing like Utah
-the food, healthy, lots of fish, just yumm yumm yumm (even the men love to cook)
-everyone cooks
-the restaurants are open very late
-the people of barcelona do siesta time in the afternoon
-the barcelona peeps also love to eat laaate at night- usually 9 or past 9 pm
-beautiful weather
Everywhere I look, it’s an amazing view, would love to draw everything
-the men are darker :P..
-I am like the only blonde to every 200 brown haired Spaniards(for a born leo to be in the “attention zone” like this is always nice… haha)
-there is a lot of culture/diversity/open minded people
-it’s Europe..
-great public transportation even night buses all night long ( like the name says, night buses)
-Spaniards learn a lot of languages
-The children I work with
-the stores to shop in- mui bien
-that I can sit outside with only a t-shirt and leggings and this in Enero (January)
-the animals everywhere
-fruit, meat, fish, vegetables markets
-(the nightlife is supposedly amazing-that I still have to test)
- salsa, (I love me some Latin, sexy dances with many emotions.. I might just have to learn me some Salsa)
- soooooooo many more reasons…
It is great… great.. Great.. Amazing!

Stay tuned I will be taking pictures, and tomorrow I have off all day.. That might be just un perfecto day to be exploring Barcelona, maybe even the clubs

La familia e casa e ciudad.

My Spanish=zero, So my word knowledge of 10 words have to do it for now. I really don’t even need many words- for now. Because My Familia speaks English. Spanish, and German. (Today I had a conversation of zero understanding with the Cleaning Lady, it was quite interesting… it went like this… bla bla bla, chica, bla bla bla, ou I know espaniol, bla bla bla, corso , oh I know that. Aqui .. Bla bla… really funny barely understood 10 words) Anyways I got here late at night (Sunday the 9^th) around 11 pm. As my navigation system said: 2 more minutes. I got stuck- I couldn’t drive up that stupid hill. Or lets say many ,many hills, because I live on many hills. It goes up and down, everywhere I look many beautiful views of houses on top of hills. Anyways I mean I just barely learned how to drive a stick, and nobody told me how to get up a hill that steep. So embarrassingly I had to call my familia and tell them that I can’t get up the hill. Quite the thalami thang. The dad kind of asked me how I got here if I don’t know how to drive stick shift! Well…
I said, that in USA I drive an automatic and not a stick and that they didn’t teach me…
Weird first impression I bet, but that is how it is. The Spaniards driving around me, probably thought. El chica de loco with blonde hair, since I was stuck in the middle of the street.. Laugh- woman they just can‘t drive!)
My La Casa is very beautiful. They live in a big house. Huge garden, pool everything!… Very nice. They have a dog and bunnys hoping around on the property. When I walk around in the ciudad (city)- everything is just sooo amazingly beautiful everywhere. I want to take pictures of everything. But unfortunately there are soooo many thief’s and if they see that you have a camera they will try to steal it. I don’t even bring a purse with me, since they will be stolen sooner or later. I put my camera in my jeans (it looked like I had become a man over night) but my scarf was hiding that “ball” I had grown :D… Really, beautiful anyways. Today I drove into Barcelona. I met a friend who lives just down the street. Already on the second day we went out at night for her birthday. Just very shortly since the bars were closed. (Most bars are closed on Mondays-( la siesta). More to this another day. But I shortly took some pictures, always looking if a thief is around ( how do they even look like?). I was very cautious and therefore only took a few pics. But here are some first insights in my life in Barcelone… And may I tell you- I am in love. This city is great! Next post I will tell you some of insights of why I believe this city to be sooo great! Mucho fantastica la ciudad (haha I am not even sure if this is Spanish, or even correcto :D)

This morning, waiting for the bus, un fantastica view

My little suburb

The ocean, right next to famous Ramblas

ocean view benches :)

if you keep walking that direction you will see the Ramblas

A waterview mall

The mall with "mirror" like windows.. on top that's me

Again, the ocean in the mirror

driving home with the bus

my street

my street and views

my casa ( and then my batteries died) haha

Stay tuned I will be taking many more!

Speechless(ly) beautiful.. The drive

I am sorry it took me a little while to post. I had a loooong drive in front of me and had to get situated with my new host-family first.
I left around 6 in the morning. I got into Spain, Barcelone about 11 at night… Quite more then I thought. The drive was one rainy ride I tell ya. All through France it rained and pored, and rained and pored again.
I did wish that I wasn’t alone on that ride, cause I did get tired quite early just passing into France. So Redbull, more Redbull, some overpriced Monsters, kept me awake. Did I mention that Energy drink+ house music=happy driver?
Yes , indeed, I turned it up and was up awake. Tapping to the music, moving my head, hands everything! Haha.. I found the coolest radio station with only house. Quite the thaaang, who would have known andy and house?!. I think Europe and I are bonding again.
Well I took pictures while I was driving and will post them.. Like I said- It is speechless(ly) beautiful. I haven’t even seen much either.
Tomorrow I will tell you about the “Familia e casa e ciudad” I live in. Ou, and tomorrow I will be riding into thee City Barcalone… Excited: yes.. I even made a friend.. So stay tuned! Tomorrow I will have mucho pictures of the ciudad. The beautiful, beautiful city. I don’t want to judge the city by this little “suburb” but ou my.. Unbelievable. I might have found my city to love!

my car

france

mc donald..(no id din't eat there.. just drank a coffee :D)

my car.. :0

see our mc donalds are stylish

mc donalds

haha passing through St. george on my way to barcelona.. who would have know right?!

see st. george

france

lots of enegry drinks

spain

haha i took these while driving thats why they are so badly :D

Sweet truth - I am leaving!

I don’t know how to describe it - this feeling. We could start with butterflies, the forbidden excitement, or simply maybe just adrenaline.
Adrenaline that gives my life a rush like no other drug. I feel uncomfortable and sometimes don’t like my body to be overtaken by millions of butterflies. But it indeed(ly) is a great excitement, a new fresh breath and in my old always going day-to-day life.
(have you notice- Ever since I started this journey there are a lot’s of deep thoughts cruising on my brains autobahn and streets? Anyways..)
When my life got taken over by my “love”/ feelings towards this man and I felt too tight up (not in a bad way), too secure, I even knew how I wanted my life to be with only 21 yrs- I simply left and gave all of those securities away! Thinking of it this way: I gave up 2 great jobs, friends, family, boyfriend and Appartment, furniture, car, insurance… everything. It really sounds crazy! I see expression from these always concerned “German folks” that makes my belli turn-upside down and up. But this time it feels like an uncomfortable tightness.
Back “home”, if I may say so, in the USA many people stood there and agreed with how strong I was, brave and full of life to do this. Here my lovely German peeps therefore see it as a more hmm.. let’s say “irresponsible” way. At least that’s how far I read their lips.
As I am feeling a bit insecure and keep asking myself: “Was I right to do this? - Giving up all these securities? no real money income, simply nothing but myself?”
-You know what, yes it was! It simply was!
I had a pleasure of talking to a man, who simply achieved everything, studied, graduated and now has a great job… followed the path he thought would make him happy and therefore now he just doesn’t feel happy.
I do not want to see myself go that road. I know I have issues with dealing with being alone. Doing everything myself. No support system. No one to tell me what will make me happy. (sometimes I “analyze” myself and wonder if I am too easily influenced. Although I should be inalterable. Are these wishes and dreams I express really mine?) So There I am. I left my everything, gave it up and am facing this fear. This fear-that will have this wonderful journey packed in with. The journey of myself finding myself. Finding my happiness. I do, I do, I do, I do have this adrenaline, these bee’s and butterflies, this tightness, storm and thunder in my stomach. I am scared many days, but this journey will mean so much, so much that so many people, young people did not find yet.
-their happiness and themselves.. SWEET THRUTH.. Being simply Inalterably themselves!

(If I was to make a cheer to my journey and drink some champagner: To hopes within my prayers, that I won't wake up one day, hating my life-therefore loving every day of it!)
Barcelona-tomorrow I come

As i love mee some loveely methaphores, here ya'll got it:
 This fruit I bought was strange and unknown, I took the fear of not knowing what or how and decided that the unknow "different choice" might just turn out to be as pleasurable as the baby banana melting away in my mouth.. tender and soft, like the jewel of pralines!

Don’t look back!- what is hidden in your closet?

New year came..2011... I had a different and “more” exciting plan. I was going to go to Amsterdam. It would have been a new, exciting experience- (all in all didn‘t I say I want to adapt this motto: It is an exciting adventure-okay I‘ll do it?). Therefore I even had more then one friend going there… (I guess Amsterdam has become the “newest” trend for New Year Eve?)
Anyhow… plans changed. It didn’t work out.. That’s okay…I got invited- my friend insisted for me to come to this party. So I stayed in my old history filled city. It was a Party in a Auto house, many people, many chances to run into someone old from the past.
Every few minutes someone tipped onto my shoulders. ANDYYYY, nahhh I don’t believe it. Some I even had to look twice-1^{st acquaintances} they had changed so much, I didn’t recognize them at all… super crazy, beard, glasses, long hair, short hair, tall, chubby… then the 2^{nd acquaintances} When did we last talk?, I mean when I left?-why are you happy to see me, again? (no, I am really just joking, it was nice to see everyone, just strange)
3^{rd acquaintances} I just didn’t even remember their names…
Well very strange, but also exciting and comfortably nice. I had a great time. Also A great time reminiscing onto my past.
It’s exactly 2 days before my last day in Germany. I believe it might be okay to feel a little sad and dream from what was!? Right.. Of course I would like it to be a: “ romanced filled- always happy going past” to remember.. So I got to leave out a lot.. I don’t remember having a good happy ending in any love relations, then?
Anyways… Romeo and Juliette. The book of the greatest love story ever. I received that book as a present when I was young. It has a lot of memories combined and I just had to find it. My mother is moving and therefore I wasn’t even sure in which room to look.
I ended up finding the book, not only that. I found a book with love notes, friend notes.. So many memories, a lot of old pictures and more. There I was sitting for hours just reminiscing, dreaming, floating somewhere else in a different time of this universe.
Reading my past is quite shocking?!- I have changed into such a different person, more wisdom (which will grow as I do), more values and believes, more self confidence and strength, a bigger more selfless self. I sometimes even believe I purposely forgot about some of my own past. There had been Many hurt feelings and a lot of problems!- Who wouldn’t want to erase the bad ones?! Therefore it was even better to skip over those and reminisce over my old loves, old friends, old innocence, So, Tell me have you ever found old memories and have looked back and said: Wooow, I have totally changed?!

Trying to take picture of the beautiful fireworks... didn't work out well.. Hmm now that I am thinking bout it, I didn't even get a New years kiss!

Inside .. lot's of people

Thinking interested.. Or sometimes just thinking..

So … I just talked a whole bunch of German all day, so please forgive me. I probably have the strongest sounding English right now…(well, German accent) Well sorry what else can I say. But it might just have an interesting factor just cause you see how quickly everything changes. New Country, New Language.. Old is old. Alrighty
Enough is said.
Well at least to that subject. I am not sure what it is. But Germany just gets me thinking non-stop. Probably because I start thinking of the differences from US to G-land. And well just as it goes. Today, Today I was frustrated, just a bit. I couldn’t believe how open and free people sometimes feel to say things. I mean last year that I came to visit-same thing. You get jokes like this from total strangers in the middle of the street: “I want to stick in your skin“(which is a normal appropriate saying to say: I want to be you).. And then this pig says: (Already imaging it?) 5 inch(cm) (however I doubt that it makes any difference, with such a language, there can’t be much). Well, don’t get me wring. I am not a closed up minded girl not open for complements and I’ve seen a lot. But I feel that my respect was put down. And for all the means- I do not walk around possible near to be told this. So any who, anyhow… I was at work, working and serving, as this kind of pig of man comes walking into the little restaurant. I am used to by now to get complements from those old men. But he,.. He’s a special one I tell ya(not the special that you’d like to keep) He starts talking about my ass, my ass is so freaky, nasty, amazing, sexy. And how many times. He’s hugging me. Not even noticing that I feel uncomfortable. Just so touchy and feeling. I couldn’t stand it. Drunk like B.. really.. It was too much. I mean then he is 54 looks more like 68.. And says: well today I didn’t get styled up. Normally I look really sharp. But today I didn’t do much. But I tell ya, I am one freaken hot man. I am such an amazing man. I am the shh.. Basically totally self-loved alcoholic. Really. (okay I didn’t start this blog to bash about pppppl. Really not. And I haven’t, and I shouldn’t ever. But if you would have been there. The other guests felt very bad for me. It was BAD. It really was. And then on top of all my boss, she was complaining and grumpy… and now I started a theory that every 2^nd German complains.. Every 1^st not… Cause I am not a racist and am not trying to judge any race. White, yellow, black, orange.. Doesn’t matter we all are same, and there is just not any “Groupalizing” possible. Big, NO&no, basta!(loving my made up words, aren’t cha) Therefore today, I just kept counting 1,2... She is a 2, he’s 1. 1&2... 1&2,2&1... All night. Even in TV! Haha… Sorry for my humor. I can tell I am getting back into the German “lifestyle” again. Not harsh, but I need to keep the goods, my goodies from US. I do indeed. I say it’s time to read some holy scripture! Tell me do or have Any, Any of you ever felt put into a situation, which was just so freaken uncomfortable, that you still just are stunned that they’d be like that.
(I really am trying not to judge. So I am sorry... Ou and from all my "thinking" I totally forgot of the big day... New years/Silvester.. tomorrow.. stay tunned)