Hello there, ;)
so it's been a while I know I know.. what can I say, But that I am sorry.
But I got some like always very interesting news about everything.
I just re-read my last blogg entry. I'm a person of good heart to believe everything can be great. But sometimes you just have to take the "purple glasses" off and see that it might be more "gray" then just fun colors behind them. The facts and truth and reality.
As I started wanting to write the very first blogg as a negative one(regarding my new host family), I guess I didn't dare. And so I changed my attitude to "I like the family" there is great possibilities and chances and you just got to see them.
Oi, Oi, OI, now I might even tell myself, don't judge one book by it's cover and only after reading a few pages!
So I am .... man, I'm sorry to tell you. But my new host family- this situation is worse then my other one before hand. I live by the wonderful beach and have a "nice" Au pair mum... it gives me a bit of a "great" sensation. But let me tell you. I was to the point thinking about coming back to the USA sooner. I get 40 dollars a week, cannot afford to pay for a Spanish course, and only talk German with my host family. So what am I getting out of this experience, if it's not learning Spanish? Really it looked like a waste of my time. Not to mention I work 45-55 hours a week counting the night babysitting for 40 euros, and have in 2 weeks only 1 day and a 1/2 day of on the weekend and besides that I work 12 days in a row. The boys only leave to the fathers every other weekend, and so far I had to work the entire time on weekends when they stayed with the mother/us. So I even tried to ask her for a "schedule" so I could plan my time better. And she said she was not liking that idea, because i need to be flexible. She needs that. And so on. That is just using me, so on that weekend the kids are there I have to stay there all day, wait until she says okay I need you to work now, because I can't handle them anymore, or I need to go shopping or no se, a lot more things. So it's been hard, because she told me she wasn't going to need me a lot, when I got this job offer and now??? I became the boys mother. My au pair mum is mo-fr never at home, she goes to work at7 till 2 she gets off and stays away until 7-9 at night, so she sees the boys in bed or when they are sleeping. Not to forget, I cook, I clean, I help, I do this, She even expects me to cook, when she is the only one that will be eating and not the boys( that is just crazy). Not to forget this aspect, which I have been noticing a lot. She can't handle her kids. She starts screaming, yelling at them, blaming the kids that her father left her and she has no money and no nerves. She doesn't consequence the kids, so they don't listen to her. She has cried to me, this lady is in a lifetime crisis. I think she might be seeing a therapist. Which I really do feel bad for her, but the vibe when she is here around the kids is horrible. So last weekend was her turn with the kids. She gave me my schedule- even though she really didn't want to do so. And after that schedule I was off the weekend. Then Thursday after making plans she says. I will be going out on Saturday and need you to look after the kids and baby-sit and on Sunday you need to wake up with them so I can sleep until around 11ish. So I am like wtf, you just told me I had off and I already made plans. So okay I just excepted it, didn't complain just whatever. Then i get there Saturday night when she wanted me to be home, and she says. oh by the way I want to stay the night in Barcelona. So please watch the kids on Sunday is that alright!? I said, yes you had told me to watch them either way Sunday until 12 so that's okay. Then she said with tears in her eyes. Well I won't be back by then. WTFFFFF, So I said, well what time will you be back because I made plans to meet my girlfriends at the beach. She said: I don't know, I feel like I live with my mother and have to giver her an exact time when to be back. (wtf, I am your worker, not your husband, or the mother of the kids mother, I need a working schedule, I am not your slave needing to be available whenever you want and need, that is abusing and using and wrong, and who the f*** even says that??? That is crazy!!!! - I have been nothing but respectful and nice). (by the way this is my 4 time trying to ask for a schedule, because everyone gets one. That’s how it is, all au pairs I know have one) So I am like, okay whatever I will just tell them I can't go. She said, no, no I just will come back home. I said: Well this is stupid (because she was almost crying like a child) just go out have fun, and we'll talk about it some other time. She said see I need your flexibility I just found out today about my friends' plan and that's the way the Spanish people are last minute. You have mo-fr in the mornings off to socialize, this is my weekend. Excuse me doesn't she have Mo-fr from 2 till 8 o'clock off, she choose to have kids, and therefore they occupy her free time, but that is not my problem. I have to work from 3-9 so that is my work... and of course the other time is off. And who socializes in the morning?! Really. So tell me mo-fr the mum wakes the kids up and is with them for an hour. mo-fr she mostly never sees them until they are in bed or already sleeping. She is 2-3 h with her kids at the maximum with her kids mo-fr and the weekend she has them, she doesn't want to be with them either. And then the other weekend they are gone. Are you fucking kidding me. So there then here I realized, this woman is just crazy, she is depressed, she is definitely abusing me. And I am done, done, done....she is soo abusing my time! (the child is sick now and I got to work from 7 am till 9 pm now until it's healthy again... are you kidding me?) So therefore I decided it was probably time to come back. -so now the next problem- How would i even afford to come home?! (40 euros a week? laugh a flight is almost 600 dollars) - my parents don't help me out- they haven't since I was 18- no money nothing. I do have a source of help, but I can't take it. I am too independent and just can't! Sorry. So my next thought was, well I guess I got to go back to Germany and work and live with my Mum for a while. Which really- I already know German, and that would just be... I guess my last resort, but for all it means- My thoughts and tendency all went to: I just need to get a job here in espana. So I looked onto this page, which it is a great little classify called "loquo" kind of like Craigslist and there you have work offers, apartments, roommates, ect... so as I looked through there, I realized it might be easier then I thought to find a job- Especially since I have heard of Au pair's getting a job easily. My Spanish is mas o menos well, I understand a lot, but I don't speak very well. But a bit, so let's do this. With English and German knowledge, I got something to offer. Well there comes the next problem. I need to have money for the first month or two to stay in an apartment, because If I find a job, I'll need to move out right then. Soooo, next problem. Where to get the money from. I got a pretty.. well funny Idea. I can't share it until it happened and is over. but stay tuned. Man, life, life, life (viva la vida loca)... But this is my year, why should I have someone ruin this year for me because they are abusing my time and I am not even learning Spanish with this family. the mum is nice and I get along with her well when the boys aren't around, but she has mental issues, it's a negative, weird vibe when she is there. The 9 year old boy even ran away from her. She has no control!! I feel bad, but just because someone is living in a pity, I don’t want to be dragged a long. For all it means if I'd stay here longer I'd go down in this place. And I am not trying to... So people. New adventure again... 3rd time is a charm. I am a fighter and I will find a way!..... stay tuned!!!!!!!!!!!
(for now I am just trying to enjoy every spare time possible to not be there and to keep my self content and going! -knowing why I am fighting to stay in barcelona, because I love it here!)
No comments:
Post a Comment