Beehind: It's the little things that make you smile, but is it enough?!

(sorry I had taken me this long to finally write again, much going on)
As the Au pair lifestyle can be a little bit ruff, I have learned to listen to clues. It really isn’t bad this lifestyle. Let me just point out some things about it, not considering them wrong, bad or good. Vale? So being the new Au pair is probably quite interesting and comforting when you really are the FIRST new Au pair. But I have been maybe what Au pair number 10, 12, 14 I don’t even now. (the little girl said: “We already had a thousand Au pairs) So taking it as it is, the Mother, Father as are the Kids are very used to the lifestyle the way of “Au pair” -what to I expect and much more. For I am not very familiar with the concept. “My theory” is that it becomes so “Known” to the people, that they leave out the “this is what you need to do exactly” part and do it day by day- kind of like “ou did I forget to tell you this“. Which is fine. I am not even sure with where I am going with this list. You do not live at home, sometimes you are in a foreign country, with foreign cultures, - language, - people and - holidays. It just is a difference. Now having done the change already in many situations I am more prepared then others I think. But there is one gesture that makes you feel very welcome and taken into place. It’s the gesture of belonging. As my Au pair parents brought me “hello kitty” cookies, because the know I love “hello kitty“. As I received a card from Pandora (where I recently skied at) from my Au pair Family. As I just sat with the Parents and Family friend in there “wine room” and drank good wine, eat and talked about many funny things, like 2010, the rich and important people that are ruling and have a lot of power, lots of politics , may I tell you that the “guest” is a PR, Public Relations from German. Very intelligent man and also very “crazy”. These are just the nights, when you were invited and feel a part. Its great…
… For some reason I do have some contra to give to this one. As I have been here for about 2 month, I all the suddenly am being used for every little “sponge” of time the Au pair family can use me with. One week I babysat 4 times (which 2 is normally the max) I wake up the kids 4-5 times a week up instead of just 1-2. I sometimes now have to work weekend days. Which is really funny because, last minutes, 2 hours to, my Au pair mother calls me and says: ou u don’t have to come today?! So great now how am I even supposed to plan anything last minute?!
I opened a gym membership so that I could go and work out, well haha, think about that one twice, because I do not find any time possible, while the gym's business hours suck to get meeee into shape (9am-10pm). So my point of focus here is the time issue. I don’t have time to do anything, just barely a language course and that’s it. - Well wasn’t one of the main goals to also learn Spanish aswell?! So why isn’t it getting any better. Well duh, because I haven’t been talking any absolute any Spanish. It sucks. I go to a language course for 2 h 5 times a week, right, which is good, but my Spanish teacher started talking to us in English at the beginning and now it just sucks, because he accepts that we simply ask in English. So when I am trying to ask in Spanish he’s not helping me and I start speaking in English, because I don’t know how to ask… and everyone is looking at me impatiently Gahh, anyways.. So at the current moment I am thinking about moving families or other accommodations. Because not every Au pair has such a time schedule as me. So I am hoping to find a place to live where that will be accommodated. It’s not only the issue of timing, its where I live as well. I drive into Barcelona and it takes a bit over 1 h and back another one, so 2 h waisted time. Everything doesn’t open until 10 here in Spain, so really my window of possibilities shrank into 10am -1.00. Which really sucks! Really. Valldoreix, the town I live in, has almost nothing to accommodate you with. Not even a gas station. So it’s frustrating because at night after I am done working from 2-9 pm there is just nothing to do. squeze an hour of workout in there till 10 and basta-day is over! I could drive into the city at night, but got to consider it takes 1 h there, 1 h back and a late night call to my host dad, so he could turn the alarm off (quite uncomfortable to kick someone out of bed in the worst hours at night ^^). Well and that has been limited to a small amount as well because my babysitting accurse on weekends. As an example last weekend was Friday and Saturday babysitting time?! Really?! I know my Au pair Family likes me a lot. I know they are friendly and kind to me. So my situation is not bad, I have heard of a bad cases and it's not one of those at all, but I also don’t feel very “close” to the parents though. I feel that the mum has a weird sight, towards au pairs. There is so much that takes place in feeling comfortable. I feel that my Au pair mum has a bit of a “controlling” personality. Her one daughter is one handful, and she doesn’t get set any boundaries, nor any consequences for her action. So imagine having to work with somebody, who’s parents are teaching them, that “it’s okay to do whatever, because I don’t get in trouble anyways” kind of attitude. Sooo at the current stage, I am not doubting that I could find a better place with more time for myself. I have something I am looking into, so as soon as I know, I will be sure to tell ya’ll about it.!!
I know the girls will be sad, they really do like me soo much, but this is my year, A year I took for myself and why should I settle for less, isn't that what I did the last 4 1/2 years, work, work and more work. So see it as selfish or not, I do want to find a place that accomadates me with, love and a feeling of belonging. A place that respects my values and needs/wants aswell as I theirs! So in good hopes of finding that Family, I am on my way to do! This is my time, my time alone!!
(Here are some pictures, when the girls and I had a “ladies night”. We crafted birthday cards, for the girls birthday. My Au pair child and I have been planning the Birthday together, which is Alien themed. It’s way cool. We drank self-made “caipirinhas” which is a alcoholic beverage (of course left out the alcohol). We made ourselves mini sized hamburgers. We read stories and did have a looooot of fun. The other pictures are of a day we ate out. We went to a Chinese restaurant, where the tables where in a pound of water and fishes were swimming all around, very cool.
So guys, I am not necessary feeling totally unhappy here, I just know that I don’t want to settle for less anymore and make my time as memorable as possible! Stay tuned, because I met some cute girls, I need to tell ya’ll bout!)

upcoming birthday girl