My Life is packed away

Well ya’ll I am officially leaving Las Vegas ground in 25 1/4 Hours. Did I ever mention that I was a procrastinator? Well, there you got it: I am. Today’s activity overview:
-packing
-moving out of my apartment
-cleaning apartment
-run my last 15 errands
-call and cancels
-saying bye
-And hopefully a little Relaxation
Sounds like an action packed day doesn’t it? Well, It’s been hard knowing that this is it, its final, its my last day. The previous days I have felt a bit nervous but also super exciting at the same time . Awe I finally finished packing. Can I tell you that there has been nothing more frustrating. I already had to buy an extra bag allowance and am still struggling with just 2 suitcases; I am trying to smuggle a “heavier” hand baggage, a backpack and my laptop on board as my “hand baggage’s“ , praying that no one will say anything.. Come on, who can fit there closet into 3 small suitcases/ 120 lbs worth? ( That is another me, as a person, seeing it on the weight sight) that sucks. Or is it just me I am wondering. Would a man take less things with them or even you? Well everyone, this is IT, my journey begins, my life is packed away in 3 suitcases. ( can you believe my next blog will be in Germany?) love you all!

Mr. CJ.. Some ways to feel at home.

I have lived in many places, different families/ Roommates and just all together have moved a bunch. One thing that had always warmed up the moving experience is to unpack all these happy, known and memory filled items. If its just a blanket you like or pictures of family, friends and vacations or some candles or art pieces- decorating my room with personal items has always been my favorite tradition after a stressful move. All your personal items will make it so much easier to feel home more quickly.
Well despite my long and far journey, unfortunately I am not aloud to take a lot of baggage with me. So most things will be staying in the United States. But I have great plans when I land in Germany. I will buy some lamps, some beading, some picture frames and more to bring with me to Spain. You got to understand that I will be leaving with a Family I don’t really know and to avoid not feeling comfortable, It will be awesome to bring some Items you like, to make your own space (that your family has offered) comfortable. So I will do. But there just was one thing, I didn’t know how to cope with. Of course This is not the ultimate coping device, but I know it will help me out quite some. Chauncey/ my boyfriend, that I am leaving behind/ we will be moving our own directions/ meaning he’ll be my ex-boyfriend/ complicated story (lot’s of slashes right?) Anyhow, okay I know I haven’t gotten into this subject quite much. It is quite difficult and will probably take up its own “post” to even explain, but for now maybe lets leave it at this : It is complicated, but yes we will stay friends kind of relationship. So I was walking through Wal mart and found this pillow/animal. It is quite cute. But it really spoke to me because it had so many similarities to my Boy friend. Big Huge smile, Big nose, small eyes and small ears. Super cute, I think it looks part sheep part monkey, but really it’s a monkey ,anyways. It’s cute and cuddly. Its silly too, the idea, I know. But sometimes even the feel of having someone there, like a cat or dog, or even just a plush animal just might make it not so lonely!. Laugh… very silly I know, but deep down I think its genius! His name is to be still figured out.. CJ, stands for Chauncey JR, but I will probably go with something that doesn’t combine his name in. So far I love coconut! (do we all have a child in us?) .. So what do you think, does it help you coping from “heimweh/being home sick” having pictures/ memories or even just something you like in a room?

Mr Cj, aka coconut, I named him finally... (I know aren't I silly :P)

The news from the news paper

So guys... here is the police/ news paper report I guess this was a big deal in my town... men oh men, poor guy.. but yeahhh... got some details from my little poor scotter being totaled....

 

High-speed chase ends at St. George apartment building

Published: December 05. 2010 11:48AM

ST. GEORGE – A St. George man was booked into jail Saturday night after leading police on a high-speed chase on the freeway, on busy city streets and into an apartment complex.

The Utah Highway Patrol and Arizona Department of Public Safety responded to a report of reckless driving on Interstate 15 near Littlefield shortly after 10 p.m., and started following a Chevrolet pickup truck at mile marker 24 in the Gorge.

UHP Sgt. Dan Ferguson said the truck was veering wildly, exhibiting one of the worst driving patterns he’d seen in 26 years of experience.

“It was the most atrocious driving I’ve ever seen,” he said.

The driver, 21-year-old (edited: young man), continued driving wildly but avoiding collisions all the way to Exit 8 in St. George, where he avoided a St. George Police Department road block and turned onto St. George Blvd. going west on the eastbound lanes, Ferguson said.

Hernandez avoided several vehicles before crashing into two Dixie State College Police vehicles that officers were trying to use to block the way near the St. George Blvd. and 1000 East intersection.

From there, Hernandez reportedly was able to continue driving to his apartment building at 545 S. 900 East, where he struck another vehicle, ran over a scooter, and finally stopped next to the front door of his home.

Before he could exit the vehicle, police caught up to him.

“We ended up just pulling him out of the truck and putting him on the ground and handcuffing him,” Ferguson said.

There was damage to the two DSC police vehicles and the two vehicles in the apartment parking lot, but no major injuries.

Hernandez was charged with multiple violations, including driving under the influence, evading police and leaving the scene of an accident. He was booked into Purgatory Correctional Facility on $7,850 bail.

Ferguson said (edited: the you men) would also likely face charges in Arizona.

Well, unfortunate fortunes

So, to make my last 10 days even more nerve racking. I came home from work with 3 cop cars standing in my parking lot, Full out lights and everything. So there I was having my Sister in law trying to reach me about “what happened” and then this?- So my scoter was totaled and not in the place I had parked it last.
Finding out. I guess there was a drunk driver, that the policemen had been chasing for about 20 minutes long down the free way, until he finally had made it home into his apartment complex. Apparently this man was so drunk that he didn’t realize the 5 cop cars had been chasing him. So he swung into the parking lot almost tipped his own pick-up truck, hit a parked car and ran into my scoter with high speed, it skid 15 feet far. My poor scoter is a mess. The back is totally messed up, its leaking gasoline, the body is broke from about every angle you look at it, lights are hanging out from the back and front. Yes, quite the thing. So on top of my stressful move out of the country, I got to deal with all the insurance companies. GRRR… I am not even sure I will have everything settled until my move. So I guess this means: Get on top of it and on top of them if needed. To the drunk driver: Well he’s my next door neighbor, Probably going to be in jail for quite some time, after not only just hitting my scoter, the car next to it and a police car down the road while drunk driving and being chased and eventually being a safety hazard for others. (did I mention that I think I live in St. Georges’ ghetto, which isn’t a ghetto for real, but lets just say it like this -It’s St. Georges’ finest that lives here, ya’ll know what I mean, even the Jehovah Witnesses that stop by don’t speak my language) Anyways….
To all my drama or I guess in all my fortune I haven’t giving it my very best to be on time at my job. I mean I got to find rides which I try hard. (But I could have found them maybe 5 h before work instead of an hour.) So last Night I got send home as soon as I got to work, because I was 15 minutes late. (It really is my fault.) I guess I just got to start walking myself an hour before I got to be at work and not rely on stupid rides. (That’s my statement. ) But it’s just sooo frustrating because I am ready on time and don’t mean to be late… And it’s so much more to take on. An yelling and frustrated boss, I always have to deal with, when finding a stupid ride. It feels quite.. Frustrating! Especially since I really wanted a good reference from this job.
I guess… Well there ya‘ll got it .. One more thing to get resolve, one more lost “money chance” (money I desperately need)… very frustrating!
Mood and Challenge Prospective for the next week: Lightly stressful with a front of wining, but will clear up eventually with a warming sunshine coming from my significant other, dissolving these challenging (burned out) moods swings from north-west and will leave everyone with a bright sunshine!
(Any who, Anyhow …did I mention that I have found a solution to not feel “unloved” in Spain anymore? Since I guess I will be leaving my love behind?.. Well I will tell ya’ll this in my next post ;) stay tuned)
(pictures will follow)

My first goodbye...

(sorry it took me so long to post again... a lot has happened, stay tuned to find out about the drunk driver, my scotter and I)


Well my sweet little friends over at my Restaurant job decided to through me a goodbye party.
It was surreal and I still don’t even believe that I will be leaving in 11 days. That is less then 2 weeks. Wow. (It gave me quite a tug in my stomach just thinking it.) Believe it or not, I am nervous. But I truly have not been this happy in a long time. I am finally focusing on just me. Yes of course I still have my goals that I am trying to achieve, but it is a total balance! -…no side is overly loaded.
Well it is quite fascinating seeing different views on my planned ADVENTURE. I mean, some people said the wish that they could just up and go and leave. They say, wouldn’t it be fun to be young again and to leave too. It seems like that my plans are inspiring people to live life and do something crazy. Then there are the other kinds that are quite frightened. They ask me were I get my courage from to move to a different country. Well first of all: US is not my home country. This country is still very unknown to me. I am too scared to move to a different city in the U.S.(I mean you hear about crazy gangs and stories, being a woman on my own is quite scary. You got to watch were you leave, its more expensive then, you have to live on the top floor ect…. But I think Barcelona will give me a nice preparation for my future. Especially since Barcelona is know to be the “New York” of Europe and is a huge city) . One other factor is that I currently live in a very safe environment like St. George. I consider my house a bit in the “ghetto”. Which in Utah terms just means: no one speaks English in my Apartment complex. But I feel safe. People are friendly. Anyways back to my theme. So moving to Spain I will actually have a lot of more safety cushions . My mum lives just a 30 Euro Flight away. So I am strong and encouraged. I am excited. Unfortunately its hard to see that some people in my “other” side of the Family are not so happy about my decision. They were talking about crazy, crazy things. Like rapist and of course with my great history of “horrible” family connections and drama in the past (which even goes quite further then my own life) there is some more blames and pointed finger onto me. I finally realized that it isn’t about them. It’s about me. I want to experience life like this. So I got to do what I got to do. Leave these blames behind and be excited.
Well it is tough saying goodbye. It really is, But the toughest is yet to come: My love.. My boyfriend. But that is another story… Stay tuned.

Eat, Pray, Love… Let’s talk inspiration people…

Alright, alright.. I guess I do have an inspiration.
2 things, well 2 beautiful people… Julia and Elizabeth Gilbert, Author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller “Eat, Pray, Love”, also recently filmed and brought out with (who could be better) Miss beautiful smile Julia Roberts. (this is not the Julia of my inspiration)
Okay lets talk Julia, aka miss Coco sister. My beautiful friend. I was about 15 years when I met miss Doreen. She and her Family had gone to the same school and lived in the same suburb as I for as long as I remember. When we teen girls started liking the same boy, we became quickly friends. She is great and we became very good friends ( “those friends your parents wish you never made, because the telephone bill was sky rocking high“ kind of friends) well, she has this wonderful older sister Julia. She has been one of these people that no matter how long we hadn’t talked for, we would never ever run out of material to talk about. Julia graduated from High School and did an internship in Spain. Wooow, how cool is that, (thinking with my adventuress young 15 years old) I wanted to do it too. For all I have known I tried to get her sister to agree on an exchange like that, after we would have graduated. Well life doesn’t just happen the way ya’ would like (Like I had mentioned in my blog before, right?). I decided to take on my faith in the US and moved away from everyone and everything. Julia has been a great friend I kept in touch with and pored my heart out at times, talked to hear about my success and things that were finally running. I always admired her. She had moved from Spain back to Germany, to Germany to Alabama (She went to school/college while doing all this, very admirable) then New York, Germany, Almost Brazil (I guess it didn’t work out) and now she is in New York again. Where did she get the courage to do this all on her own. Well I want to do it too. One day. Ever since I was 15 years old I knew that this was on my bucket list: Move to either Spain or Italy for a year, two or more.
Now to my secondary and final inspiration. Eat, Pray, Love. Honesty, I didn’t know there was a book out that did this/ had similar plans. I read the book and fell in love. This lady had never really found herself and never found what she really wanted from life. She was taken by the mentality of life: “I guess this is what everyone else would do” mentality. She was depressed, frustrated and finally left her Husband after several years of marriage. After that relationship, she went into the next one. (She never seemed like she was quite happy on her own.) So she was super depressed, met a guru, met a medicine man, in her case this was her inspiration and made plans to move overseas for a year.(since I am not writing a book report, I will not tell ya’ much more… this is for you to read) But how cool is this. This book had my heart beating. I didn’t know that there were more people like me and goals like this and all in all, she is an grown up woman.
Well, I had quite the ruff time here in the US. But people everywhere go through struggles and troubles. So I don’t try to self pity myself. I have worked 3-2 jobs (just about every day) and have been used to this ever since I had known to be on my own. It’s hard to support yourself by these “baby jobs”. We call this a typical burn out, short on temper, hard to see things positive, frustrated at work and more symptoms. A life that wasn’t worth living. 2012-the movie…(why did I ever watch this Movie?) Well, I guess it brought me closer to my goal.( Let’s stay structured I don’t mean to get ya’ll confused here, are ya’ll still with me?) So 2012 the movie. If you hadn’t seen it, well it’s a movie about the earth going down in 2012. I had never been more scared. This world had actually an expiration date.? On top of that I had been going to this church. Let me tell ya, he was not shy about talking “revelations”… Revelations: time has been going by faster, quicker, it is coming: the judgment will be coming, he said.
Everywhere I was going they just dwelled on my fear. Okay don’t get me confused, when the Erath goes down, well then it will go down. There is just nothing we can do about it, BUT please tell me… All this hard work I was doing, all this straight forward focus towards achieving goal, more goals, get school started, work, work and more work (“can you pick up a shift for me, yes of course always“- kind of hard working work) fun?-what’s that. I was an absolute devoted hard working goal achiever. I had no fun, no life worth living. So that got me thinking of what I am doing wrong… It is not the destination that defines our life’s- it is journey that takes us there. BAM BOM BAM, I had never seen clearer ,ever I mean ever. Guess what, I have never been happier either. I am finally, finally over my frustrations and bad pasts, because I have a life worth living? So let me ask you this: Have you ever been caught up and focused to hard to straight forward, that you had been forgetting to live life the fullest?

Thee struggles n' troubles

Alright now. I don’t consider myself one of these lucky going, nothing wrong, always smooth riding people. I guess that could have 2 reasons: First, well maybe I am just not made to be this lucky. Second of all: Well I can’t deny that I have been told I am rather a pessimist. Well sorry people. That glass just looks half empty not half full. But the kind of girl I am, I really must say, I really try to improve. This is why I love meeting people and new cultures. Adapting the best things out of what you learn. I truly believe people can change, but you really just have to be up for it. I really want to mold into this infinite person. Always striving to be and do better. Anyways, for now I am still going to look at this glass a little emptier.(Smile)
Getting everything ready for this big move wasn’t easy. I had found my Au pair Family around August. Maybe I should call myself lucky, because I had this great, great Family that really did want me too. Actually I had about 100 people from Italy and Spain wanting me as their little Au pair. Well, I guess my profile just stood out ;). So first thing after I had really considered this plan and made the final decision: I put my car for sale around the end of September. Well, to my surprise, I actually had a lot of calls and interests. In the first week. Can you believe it? In this economy? Alright, (Alright maybe I am luckier then I think) Unfortunately my car had driven over a huge tire while driving on the free way. Which when I was going through my process of getting my baby car sold, turned out to be a leak in my GAS TANK. Oh goodness, 550 turtles dumped into a repair, that I wasn’t even getting anything out off. Gosh not to forget my crazy buyer that happened to be a co-workers ex- brother in law. Apparently the had an alcohol problem and struggles with “power entitlement”. It was quite a frustrating process and I felt like he made everything harder then he had too. Pay pal.. Ya’ know, It’s all good until ya’ have this crazy buyer trying to get a car sold in a week. (You have to wait anywhere from 2-3 days for each little process on Pay pal.) I got to say this though. God never takes more struggles up on me that I can’t handle and in times like these when things where hard and frustrating I turn to him, and ask for strength and endurance.
So after having sold my car. Well what was I going to do for my ride? I mean I have still 3 months left here. LUCKILY (do you like how I pronounce this), my sister in law is such a sweetheart, She let me use her scooter. (I mean she can’t carry her new born on there, right). You know, I really was quite the attraction on that cute thing. I had been flirted with, smiled at, even had seen people I hadn’t in 2 years. So I absolutely adored it. Poor scooty, one cold Autumn day, well it just didn’t sound the same. The poor battery had given its last. Okay well now I didn’t have rides anymore. I car pool to one of my jobs, luckily, and to the other one: it happens to be closer to my house then I thought, so I go on nice walks these days. It is all good and nice.
Lastly, I have been working and working and working, to pay of bills, credit cards, remaining everything’s, so I can have a clean move from the states. So happens to turn out serving is just not that, How shall I word this, not so reliable. Economy is down, well Oprah W. my friend, she had to tell everyone that servers just should only be tipped 10 % in this bad economy. Honey did you do your research? Because we poor servers in Utah and about another couple of states only get an hourly wage of stunning $ 2,13. Ya, tell me is that sad or what. To clear this up, everyone else makes minimum wage. So thanks Oprah: what do people call this effect again. Oh ya the Oprah W. effect. My tips are 10 %ters now more often rather then 20 %ters, which I don’t want to be cocky, but my tables adore me ;). ( I challenge that lady to come serve, cause we do a heck of a job, now since the economy is down and companies are saving, we have to do a lot of a heck more, buss table(so they don’t have to pay a busser), make your salads, and a heck of a load of side work. Alright Oprah, are you ready to work for $2.13 an hour, let me know)
Well, now it has become super slow at that serving job. I come in at 3.45 pm and get cut 5.45. It has been very, very, very frustrating, because I have about 1 ½ weeks left of work and haven’t even paid all my bills off yet. And I had quit my other job already , so I would be able to start packing and so on. Happens to be, I guess, I am just a lucky one, that my boss is a sweetheart too, and let me work another week. Hopefully I will be able to pay my bills and safe a penny or two, eventually a dime. Cause I really would like to learn Spanish in a school. ( I need a crash course/ Intensive program to get me going) Well, like ya’ll can see, I am luckier then I think, this path had been rather smooth riding , now repeating it in words. I should feel blessed and happy to have gotten things running this smoothly. Endurance… that’s what is hard and just a great thing to have. Tell me do you ever feel like troubles and struggles overcome you? Or are you rather a happy sailors man?